Maelstrom: A First by shalu

Happy Birthday, Nae!!

Thank you for all you do for me & so many others. I love you! I hope you enjoy this tiny Maelstrom drabble from Edward's POV.

xoxoxo, shalu

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I’d never felt anything so magnificent than Jasper’s lips, his mouth, his tongue. I’d never kissed a boy before him, but none of the few kisses I’d had with girls felt anything like this.

His desire, his desperation to express how he felt for me became tangible, like a surge of electricity coursing through him, dancing across his lips to me. My body burned like wildfire as instinct took over and tangling our limbs, we , and I knew then I never wanted to be without him.

Being with him was the first time I felt whole, alive, and love. It was also the first time I felt absolute terror.

My father would never accept me this way, so how could I properly convey my joy? How could I tell him that at the ridiculously young age of sixteen, days from my seventeenth birthday, I fell in love with boy? How could he understand that suddenly, I felt alive in my own skin and life didn’t seem so scary to me?

I couldn’t go to my mother, as she would tell my dad, and then defer to whatever stance he took. Jasper never pressured me. He knew how difficult it was for me. I mean, he was still struggling to come out, himself. His dad was kind of strict, but his mom was no doormat. She had her own perspective and would probably stick up for him. Jasper had someone to depend on in his family, someone who would always be his family. I didn’t.

“Edward, I love you,” he whispered, his words humming against my ear. I shivered from the feeling, relishing his closeness. He soothed me with hands and promises, as if he could feel my distress.

When I turned to look in his eyes, they were twinkling above his honest smile. “I love you,” I returned, the words tripping over themselves to get out.

“Edward,” he began, holding me tight. “We have time. We don’t have to declare ourselves to the world right now. We’re all that really counts.”

He was confident, and it warmed me all the way through. I kissed him hard without another moment of hesitation, and there was no delay in his reciprocation. His mouth, his hands, his skin ... it would never be enough for me; there could never be enough time to love him, to make love with him. I could never be satiated, and I wanted to stay there in his arms forever.

Unfortunately, we had finals the next day. I got dressed, Jasper’s positive energy permeating my entire being, a smile playing on my lips. I had his conviction, his faith to buoy my heart and keep me afloat until we could truly be ourselves without hiding.

I wished I could have held on to that feeling, that surety. But as I slung my book bag over my shoulder and left the protection of his room, I could feel it fall through me like a sieve. By the time I got to my car, my skin was cold.